tickets

the sign said no right turn before six pm. it was 5:30 and the traffic behind me was backed up for blocks. ack, who's gonna care?

apparently not the six guys lined up in front of me when i turned the corner. apparently the police man who stopped us all did.

$172 fricking dollars for turning right on a little residential street a half hour earlier than i should? damn good thing they're busy saving the city from criminals like me. yeesh.

lawyers

it's a damn good thing she's a good lawyer, otherwise i'd have to get ripping mad about paying someone $350 to do her job. $350? holy cow! she makes more in an hour than i do in a few days. something's not quite right in the world.

wonder if she'll ever need *my* services? hmm... would be nice to have the shoe on the other foot :-)

professional? drivers

gee, mr. big ol truck driver, i know you have the term 'professional' attached to your job, but would that not imply that you actually check your mirrors before changing lanes and forcing me onto the shoulder at 120kph? course, it's not like i've never messed up but if i'm not mistaken, i saw you do it *again* when i looked in my rear view mirror. once is enough because if you were actually drunk and piloting 80,000 lbs down the highway in a fog, well, then i'd want to stop your truck and give you a swift kick to the side of the head for your stupidity. professional, my butt.

montreal

this guy is mad at the world so he thinks it's his right to come into a school community, shoot a dozen people, kill some, wound others, traumatize thousands and send shock waves across the country? what the heck? i say this in the most compassionate voice i can, but i hope it's really hot where he is right now.

mom

people come and people go. but mom's are darn near sacred.
she's had her fair share of grief in life, but i certainly do admire and love her.
love you mom. chin up. you'll survive.
you always do.

being happy

someone asked recently, "what makes you happy?" good question. at the moment, not too much.

but using my extra stellar memory i can recall some things that *did* make me happy. like time with my kids around the supper table as they recounted the events of the day. chocolate. playing with my dog. helping other people. and definitely a hug from my girlfriend.

funny, not much of that has to do with money. or things.

divorce sucks

divorce really does suck. it has one big upside - you get rid of your ex. but not really. she's still there to pester you and make your life as miserable as possible. then there's the inevitable loss of relationships with friends and family members. loss of routine. loss of an intimate family life. loss of lifestyle. loss of money. it's pretty much a lose/lose proposition.

on the other hand, another year with her and i woulda seriously run myself into the ground and been fit for nothing but grass fertilizer, so i guess it has it's upsides.

that's hot

my girlfriend's darn good looking. how do i know? well i have eyes for one thing. and the other is that guys keep coming up to her and telling her. they're not blind either.

funny, no one used to say that to my ex. wonder if they could see her heart?

short and sweet

i have a short attention span. some people might think that's bad but i like it. if it were up to me, *nothing* in this world would be long. books would be three pages. the bible would be an epic at five pages. instruction manuals would be no more than two paragraphs. legal documents could not exceed more than one easily understood paragraph. newspapers would be three pages but one of those would be comics and one would be classifieds. jobs would be 10 til noon, with a half hour coffee break, then a two hour lunch which includes a siesta, followed by 20 minutes hard labor in the afternoon. then home for a nap. church services would never exceed 21 minutes. weddings, 30 minutes. funerals, 29 minutes, but two hours to party afterward. commutes would be no more than 8 minutes. school, one hour 13 minutes including half an hour for recess. and this blog would be considered an epic.

alone

alone can be fun. but alone can also suck.

i did alone tonight when i went for supper. with my dog. at a fast food place. with a newspaper.

i have a really nice car. some people would even see it and be jealous. but not tonight. tonight was an alone night and i'm not to be envied. not pitied either.

just alone.

unconditional

the woman of my dreams tells me that though she knows i have faults, though her brain is fully engaged and her rose colored glasses are off, she loves me unconditionally. go figure.

no one's ever said that to me before.

web nut

see, the problem with the internet and people with personalities like mine is that we don't get along very well. actually, make that we get along *too* well.

inquiring minds want to know. everything, that is. and the net has now grown to be absolutely limitless. so how can the inquiring mind get a grip on something that is limitless? dunno. but my butt is getting sore trying to find out.

weird enemies

she's probably not trying to make it look like she's my enemy, but it's really weird being forced to do stuff legally by the woman who once promised to love and cherish you and honor you for the rest of your life.

i don't recall the part that said, "but if i don't like it, i'll sue your butt." hmm... she musta left that part out of the vows.

if i only knew then what i know now.

looking for love

"looking for love in all the wrong places" - wasn't that the song we grew up with. but the question is, where is the *right* place?

helped my friend sign up for an internet dating site. still debating if that was the best thing to do. it's his life and all but geez, i sure hope it works out for him.

never woulda thought, when the net was invented, that it would be the place people would go to find love. banking, yes. cars for sale, yes. but love? who woulda thunk it? yet, i would be the first to say that it *is* possible. if you're fortunate and someone is looking for you, you can indeed find love.

interruptions

i keep thinking that the stuff i do in relating to some people in my life, especially those who are needy, is somehow 'interrupting' my life.

but it hit me again today that those things i do, *especially* for someone who is needy, *is* my life and it is work and chores and bills and all the other stuff that is interruptive.

bait and switch

It's not fair when you go to the door late at night, to answer a gentle knock and see a pretty twenty-something standing there and she inquires about your name and instead of telling you that you won a car or she wants money for the heart fund or something banal like that she hands you a notice of legal action from your ex. how deflating.

i have been served.

dang.

breaking free

RodKnees Thots
you'd think when you get a little past the teen years, peer pressure wouldn't mean so much. but i just realized that with a very simple decision i could live a job-free life. not as comfortable mind you, but not impossible to live. how strange is that.

and yet, what keeps me from doing it most is what other people would think.

i must be crazy to worry about that.

immortality

i believe in immortality. i have to. otherwise an entire life can be summarized by a 15 second video shot on the evening news, and that's only if you're famous or managed to go out in spectacular style. otherwise, you just disappear with barely a trace... that's just too sad to admit. therefore, i believe in immortality.

drinking

i don't drink.

let me clarify, i don't drink a lot of alcoholic beverages.

occasionally the urge to get silly makes me wonder why, but then again, i only have to watch the idiots getting arrested on tv, to remind myself why it's really not a good idea.

maybe i should start drinking one of these days but so far i really can't find a good reason to do it. i'm not into sports so i don't need a post game excuse and i already have a girlfriend so i don't need it to get lucky.

is there another reason or did i miss something?

razor ads confuse me

razor ads confuse me.

two blades. three blades. four blades. five blades. it's obvious to me we need to end this blade war.

it's simple. 1000 blades. forget this silly one-up-manship. just make a razor with 1000 blades. mount it on your wall. then lather up and run by it every morning making sure to spin your head. voila!, shaving's done.

throw in some seductive imagery of a gorgeous blonde hugging your grinning mug and possibly some jets flying overhead, and you have an award winning blade campaign.

i shoulda been in advertising.

molten sulphur

i’m driving down the freeway and right beside me is a huge tanker truck. on the side in huge letters; molten sulphur.

molten sulphur!? holy cow!

first of all, who is the bright guy who said, "hey, there’s some molten sulphur. let’s put it in a huge tank and roll it down a crowded highway at 70 miles an hour and see what happens. should be fun, right?"

secondly, if you offer to drive this rig around all day, what’s your problem? i mean if your other option was rollin’ along with 10,000 gallons of chocolate milk, are you going to be the one who says, "milk? heck, no, that’s sissy work! give me the molten sulphur!! if i smack up, I want to go out in a blaze of glory, not surrounded by a thousand commuters with straws."

insurance ticks me off

insurance ticks me off. like why do some services require you to have insurance in order to afford them? like dentists. don’t go in there without insurance.

"yes, rodknees, for the x-ray, cleaning and the complimentary two inch roll of dental floss, your total comes to ….ten million dollars. have no fear, your insurance covers 90%. Would you like the other million on your credit card?"

and what’s with only covering 90%? like if you gotta pay 90% would it kill ya to cover the whole thing? does anyone else do that? do you go for lunch and pick up the tab and say, "hey, I’ll get 90% of this?."

do you turn off one light in your house and phone the electric utility and say, "hey I’m only paying 90% of my bill this month?"

do you say to a cabbie, "hey, how does 90% of that sound to ya?"

just *pay* it, dang it. The *whole* thing.

why couldn’t everyone have insurance? like why can’t I get blog insurance? "i’m sorry, my blog sucked tonight. here’s a free trip to honolulu on me to compensate you. please, don’t thank me. thank all state. they’ve got you covered."

mcjob

see, the poor guys across the street make my point exactly about mcjobs. pulled up in a delivery van, took 20 minutes to unload a huge sectional sofa and remove all the plastic and cardboard packaging from it. so far so good. can imagine them whistling as they work.

awkwardly they hoist the sofa up the steps. they're gone a long time.

then they reappear carrying the same sofa. put it down on the ground and spend another 20 minutes covering it all back up again, all the while shaking their heads. load the sofa into the truck which is no small feat as one guy puts the whole thing on his head and practically throws it into the back of the delivery van.

finally they are off. grand total accomplished: zero.

but it's a living.

actually maybe it's a government job. now *that* makes more sense.

i'm happy where i am

i'm not independently wealthy. just have enough that i don't have to beat myself to death every day at a job i don't like doing to make ends meet.

so why the heck do i feel so guilty about not working harder? isn't this what people work for all their lives? to work hard at some points to gain some financial independence so you don't have to beat yourself to death at a mcjob for the rest of your life?

if i thought no one else had expectations of me it would be just fine. but i think others *expect* me to work harder so i feel guilty that i don't. but i don't *want* to work harder. i'm quite happy just to get by with enough to put food on the table and a roof over my head. and i'm not even that fussy about the roof. could be in a minivan for all i care.

heck, i'd live in a box and be happy if it meant i didn't have to bust my ass every day doing something i don't like.

i think i missed my calling. i shoulda been a gypsy.

real estate ads

some things in life don't make sense...

like the way we advertise real estate. looking through the classifieds for a house and the ad says, "bright, beautiful, open, well-designed, great curb appeal, ready to move in." and below it is the picture of an attractive blonde.

i'm confused.

is SHE ready to move in or is the house?

some things in life don't make sense.

blogging is crazy

my first thought when i found out about bloggers? they're insane.

who the heck would want to post thoughts on the web for entire world to see. it's crazy.

therefore....

i shall post thots on the web for all the world to see.

it IS crazy.